If you’re anything like the majority of us on earth, I’m sure you’ll agree that the very thought about vulnerability or being vulnerable conjures weakness, or being petty. In a world full of perfectionist, at least that’s what the media makes it be, expressing one’s emotion and feeling can often be misconstrued to mean weakness.
A lot of people today carry with them a lot of insecurities and fears but masquerade it with the appearance of being brave, confident, and fearless.
Do you want to know the result of masquerading your emotions, and insecurities?
It breeds more fear, the need to be appreciated, and loved, or at least understood. In some extreme cases, it can lead to depression.
We are rarely thought about expressing our feelings, from our homes, we were all thought to respect our neighbors even when that particular neighbor is being unreasonable or hurting our feelings. We go about pretending and act like everything is alright yet we dread the sight of what’s causing us pain.
As a man, I grew up with the notion that men are supposed to be strong naturally, and fearless. Men aren’t supposed to be emotional or at the very least, express their emotion because it would send the message of being weak. And, no one wants to be perceived as being weak, at least not me. These notions held me back for so many years, and it still does sometimes. It makes you avoid confrontations and even challenges because of the fear of being labeled a failure or weak.
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never a weakness”. ~Brene Brown
Before we go further, I want you to take a look at the following statements and tell me if any of it applies to you:
- You’re stuck in a bad relationship and afraid to leave because you dread the thought of being labeled a disappointment or failure.
- You’re stuck in a bad job or business and can’t leave or express yourself because you don’t want to feel like a bad person, or unappreciative.
- You constantly do things you hate because you don’t want your partner to label you as an evil person or selfish.
- You love someone but can’t tell them because you fear the thought of rejection.
- You try to under-dress because you don’t want people to perceive you as a showoff.
- The very idea of speaking out scares the hell out of you.
- You care too much about what people think of you and it inhibits your growth.
I’m very sure we all have our insecurities, and if any of the statements above apply to you or even rings a bell, it simply signifies a symptom of a root problem. Also, it shows that you put conscious efforts to hide your vulnerability.
What is Vulnerability?
Vulnerability is simply self-expression irrespective of fear. It is the conscious effort we make to NOT hide our feelings or emotions from people around us.
Vulnerability shouldn’t be misconstrued for manipulation or the need for control. Just like truth, vulnerability is all about being truthful about yourself, your emotions, and feelinga- and to accept that its okay to express them no matter what other people think.
The key point is SELF-EXPRESSION.
Vulnerability is as simple as telling someone that what they’re doing to you, hurts your feeling. And possibly cutting off some people who make you feel bad without you feeling bad about it.
It is also as simple as telling someone you love them, and that you cherish them without fear of rejection or being snubbed. It isn’t complicated at all. The only problem is that we’ve all grown up pretending and suppressing our feelings because of fear- fear of rejection, or being labeled bad, weak, or failure.
What Vulnerability does:
1. Gives you room for Improvement.
Vulnerability gives you room for improvement, so instead of pretending you know something because you fear being labeled a fool, openly admit you don’t know and ask for help. You’ll discover that more people are willing and ready to help you. You’ll get the respect you deserve.
“Remember: The man who ask a question is a fool for a minute, the man who doesn’t ask is a fool for life”. ~Confucius.
The biggest disservice you can do for yourself is to pretend and suffer in silent.
2. Take Responsibility for your life and actions
The greatest thing about being open about who you are is that you take responsibility for your actions and deeds, you understand that no one is perfect in this world. You become yourself and do things the way you want. You understand what makes you happy and what doesn’t, also, you get to make bold moves and pursue your passion without timidity.
You become less concerned about what people say about you. After all, no matter what you do, people will always have something to say about you.
3. Makes you Brave and Courageous
Failure and criticisms are two factors that can inhibit a person’s chance of development and growth in society. Many people today are depressed, sad, resentful, and antagonistic because they’ve not freed themselves of the thought of being judged or disliked by people around them. They hide their abilities and talents and hope that someday they’ll get to use them. As time passes, they become bitter and resentful when they see others doing what they know they can do better.
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and open to life is the most guaranteed way of freeing yourself from mental slavery and embracing your true self. Vulnerability makes you brave and courageous, you care less of what people say or think about you, and you easily forgive yourself when you make mistake. You pursue your dreams and dare greatly in life.
4. You love and also become more lovable
One of the biggest fears of most millennials and other generations is the thought of being rejected by people they love. Most people bottle up their feelings for the opposite sex and pretend to be cool while deep down they desire love, they desire affection and intimacy. For most people, they end up lonely and live in regrets.
Being vulnerable allows you to be expressive about yourself and your feelings, you are confident because you know your self-worth. You care less about being judged or fooling yourself around the person you admire or love.
5. Inspire creativity
One of the greatest catalysts to creativity and productivity is freedom of expression. Freedom to choose what to think, and how to think. Freedom to explore beyond the normal status quo without being penalized or criticized. Most people struggle at work and in business because they try to control every outcome in their life or workplace. Too much structure inhibits creativity and stiffens growth. And too much criticism breed fear, and conformity.
As a boss, a business owner, or an artist, in order to crease productivity, you need to allow your staff or self to be vulnerable. Free yourself and others from the compulsive urge to control everything. Make mistakes and never judge yourself or your abilities base on the mistake you make. when you do this, you inspire freedom, trust, and creativity.
Easily say no to things that don’t matter.
Most of us take up a task or something we do not find interesting enough because we want to please people in our lives. We fear being seen as inconsiderate or selfish so we carry on a task we hate, we put stress on ourselves and complain bitterly how others treat us. Being vulnerable makes you realize that you’re only responsible for your life. this, in turn, helps you to reject what might put you in a stressful position and you don’t get to feel bad about it.
Vulnerability is an important prerequisite to a happy living especially in today’s world of perfection. So many people live in fear and timidity because they care too much about what other people think or say about them. This stiffens our growth; it also makes us miserable and sad. Vulnerability isn’t about showing weakness or being manipulative of people, it’s all about living your true self without being over conscious about other people’s opinions.