Everyone has doubts and most of us experience doubts every day of our lives.
There comes a time in everyone’s life when we doubt ourselves, our ability, and so on. These doubts can be a result of trying something new or audacious. It is natural. Your ability to act even when in doubt is what matters, and its what distinguishes successful people from unsuccessful people.
The only difference between people who appear to be more confident than everyone else is their ability to overcome their self-doubts and manage it.
Doubts have its purpose in our lives, they act as the intuition that channels us away from troubles or pains. The only problem with doubt is when it becomes too much, and when we question ourselves and our innate abilities. These self-doubts can inhibit and make life difficult and depressing, and it can create a sense of unworthiness in one’s life.
There are many ways in which we can deal with the feeling of self-doubts, and in this article, I’ll show you 6 easy but powerful ways in which you can control and manage your self-doubts.
Self-doubts can be defined as a lack of confidence in one’s self or abilities.
Webster’s online dictionary defines Self-doubts as “a lack of faith in oneself: a feeling of doubt or uncertainty about one’s abilities, actions, etc.”.
Ways in Which Self-Doubts Inhibit Us
There are so many ways in which self-doubts can be a problem. The following are a few of the ways in which self-doubt can inhibit a person’s life:
- Self-doubts can make it difficult for a person to have a normal relationship with friends, family, and co-workers.
- It can create a feeling of imposter syndrome.
- Self-doubt can prevent you from taking a risk either in business or your personal life.
- It can lead to neurosis.
- Self-doubts lead to procrastination.
- It can prevent you from achieving your dreams and heart desires in life.
- Self-doubts can make a person develop low self-esteem.
- It’s one of the factors that create self-anger, resentment, jealousy, and depression.
What are the Causes of Self-Doubts?
1. Past Experiences
Experience of failures and mistakes are the main reason why most of us develop self-doubts. The experience can be personal or of others. Everyone fears to fail because of the perceived stigma that goes with it, and the fear of failure is the main reason why most people prefer to live in their comfort zone. It is natural to develop self-doubt when you’ve been criticized in the past for little mistake you made or when you failed.
Childhood experience also serves as a strong influence on why a lot of people have self-doubts.
2. Fear of Failure/Criticism
The fear of failing in life is what prevents most of us from taking on a real challenge and developing ourselves. We fear the criticism, backlash, and disappointment it might bring.
Our ability to overcome our fear of failing is what determines if we actually live our lives based on our own terms or by someone else’s.
3. Fear of Success
This can be seen when someone has achieved some relative amount of success in the past. They get nostalgic about replicating their past success.
Some others fear that success might change them or they question their worthiness of being successful.
4. Unhealthy Comparison
Comparison is the thief of joy according to Theodore Roosevelt.
The media has created the illusion of a perfect life in each and every one of us. These unrealistic illusions are what has caused a lot of sadness, unhappiness, resentment, and depression in our society. We forget that no one is perfect and that everyone has their own challenges and problems. We assume others are living a perfect life and this thought prevents us from going after what we want because of fear of not being enough or not at par with the social media status.
In order to live a healthy life, we must eliminate unhealthy comparisons and realize we are perfect the way we are.
5. New Challenge or Environment
Everyone gets nostalgic sometimes when exploring new environments or ventures. For a person starting off a new business, it is perfectly natural to harbor some fears and doubts. These fears or doubts are as a result of the fact that you are not familiar with the territory. However, your ability to act irrespective of your fears is what determines your success.
How to Control Self-Doubts
1. Take Control of Your Thoughts
Thoughts are things, and they have a way of manifesting themselves into our lives. The best way to control your self-doubts is to simply get hold of your thoughts, and question them to see its validity. Never allow your mind to run wild.
Whenever you feel doubts or fear, ask yourself this question “what’s the worst that can happen?”
2. Set a Realistic Goal for yourself
Sometimes our doubts could be as a result of unrealistic goals we set for ourselves. When deciding to take on a new venture or go into a new domain, its advisable to set simple and realistic goals for yourself, and as you grow, you can increase the size of your goal.
3. Stop Unhealthy Comparison
A statement like “I can never be like this or that” or “why can’t I be like” has a way of creating mental boundaries in our mind. These mental boundaries are what make us feel unworthy or creates a feeling of low self-esteem. It is said that about 70% of women doubt themselves due to their self-image. These doubts go on to prevent them from taking on leadership positions in society. The problem of self-doubts doesn’t just affect women alone, a lot of men doubt themselves as well.
Understand that you are perfect the way you are. There’s no other person like you on earth, you’re simply unique.
Focus more on yourself and forget about what everyone else is doing or saying.
4. Seek out Help
Talk to someone you trust, let them know how you feel. Talking to someone you trust has a way of boosting self-esteem, and self-confidence especially if it’s a loved one.
A coach, counselor, or mentor can also be a great way to deal with self-doubts. They can provide you with the necessary tools or techniques that would aid you to deal with your self-doubts.
5. Face your Fears
A good way to cure doubts and fears is to face it heads on. You’ll be surprised that the more you do that, the more you’ll grow more confident.
List out things you fear the most and go after them one after the other.
Expand your comfort zone.
6. Associate with People who are more Confident
Your association could be what’s affecting you and inducing more fear and doubts into your life. Watch out people you spend most of your time with. Are they negative, and pessimistic?
Or are they empowering to you?
Evaluate your relationships and understand how it’s influencing your life.
All self-doubts stem from past experiences, the experience of failure and mistakes. It’s these mistakes and failures that clouds the mind into fear in the present moment. If you can control your perception about what you fear and what you believe is reality, you’ll most definitely control your self-doubts.