Life will do a great job in beating you up, it will throw you off balance, and put all types of obstacles on your way. In so many instances, these obstacles and challenges are what shapes us into something better and great.
For many other people, challenges and obstacles can be debilitating and demotivating especially when our sense of significance is tied to that particular thing or situation. There are a lot of things that can hurt our self-worth in life and ‘failure’ tops the chart.
When I ventured into business for the first time, it was quite scary, and I was constantly scared of failing. Failing wasn’t the real problem per se, the real problem was the constant thought of what people will say about me, how will I be perceived by others when I don’t make it big.
When the business failed eventually, I was sad and felt that cloudiness of thoughts, and judgments. And, I judged myself based on that singular event.
Life is all about perceptions, and the perception we have of ourselves, and our abilities matters a lot. It’s rather unfortunate that most of us have developed negative self-image due to external conditions or due to our circumstances.
There are so many ways we humans beat ourselves up in life, and for many of us, we gradually define our worth based on our external circumstances.
In this post, we share 9 things you should never place your self-worth on:
- Your failures.
Your failures in life don’t have any correlation with who you truly are, it is only an event and nothing more. Just because you failed in business, relationship, school, or any other thing does not mean you are a failure. So, stop placing your worth on your failure.
- Your business.
For most people, they derive so much pride in their business and little events or challenges can throw them off balance. They judge themselves, their abilities and their sanity. We easily forget that changes are inevitable in life.
- Your relationships.
A lot of single people out there either believe they are not pretty enough or that something is wrong with them that’s why they are single. They beat themselves up and some end up with less than what they deserve because they want to please the society or live like every other person. For some, the thought of leaving an abusive relationship is hard because their relationship is everything to them. Their self-worth is based on pleasing their partner even when the partner is abusive.
Some other people who have failed relationships or marriages beat themselves up and blame themselves for the outcome of their relationship. The constant negative self-talk ends up destroying their self-worth and they end up becoming sad, resentful, or even depressed.
- Your career.
Just because you’re currently not working where you desire doesn’t mean you are a failure. A lot of people are shy about their place of work maybe because they have a degree and work in a place that is perceived to be below them. They act timid and shy. They label themselves as unworthy, and even failures. We forget that nothing lasts forever, life is transient. Your current job doesn’t define who you are or your abilities. It’s just a job and nothing more than that.
- Your appearance.
It is said that 90% of people are dissatisfied with some parts of their bodies. This is probably the reason why the cosmetics industry is thriving and making massive profits. A lot of people place so much emphasis on how they look, they compare themselves with others unfavorably. This, in turn, hurts their self-worth.
- Your level of education.
So many people who don’t have formal education often blame their circumstances on their education. Yet, the world is full of more uneducated successful people than the educated ones. They beat themselves up and label themselves as dumb, useless or unworthy. These negative labeling leads to them feeling sad and depressed.
Educated people also fall into the trap of placing their worth in their educational grades or outcome. Those with low grades might develop an inferiority complex and those with high grades might place all their worth in their grades and become sad when they can’t find a good job.
- Your family background/Environment.
Because you come from a poor background doesn’t equate to you being useless or unworthy of good things in life. So many people avoid going after their dreams because they feel unworthy due to their family background. Yet history is filled with great men and women who have made it to the top even with a disadvantaged background. Your family background does not in any way define who you are, or your self-worth.
Our environment is another factor that affects people’s self-worth. The chances of someone living in a negative environment to develop low self-worth are quite high. Yet, it’s our duty to ensure that we remove ourselves from such kind of environment and associate with people who’d help us to build our self-esteem. So, you shouldn’t allow your environment to define you. You have the power to change your environment and associations, never allow it to control you.
- Your financial status.
Money is very important and it has a way of boosting our self-confidence. And although it is important, it’s not a prerequisite for self-worth or self-esteem. There are countless number of people who have the money yet have low self-worth. A lot of people walk around defeated and sell themselves short because they think if only, they had the money they’d be more confident and charismatic. What we forget is that just like everything in life, your financial status doesn’t define you, if it is low, it’s temporary. It can change at any given time. Your self-worth doesn’t have to be tied to your financial status.
- What other people say or think about you!
A wise man once said that opinions are the cheapest commodity on earth. A lot of us care too much about what people think of us, and what they say or will say about us. These constant thoughts can have a negative effect on our performance in the society and the results we go on to achieve. What most of us fail to understand is that no matter what you do or don’t do, people will always have a thing to say about you. Why then let it disturb you, why let it interfere with your living and peace of mind. People’s opinions of you only reflect them and not you. So, stop wasting much of your time thinking and worrying about what people would say or think about you.
Recognize that you are special and that no two people on earth are the same or will have the same kind of life, appreciate where you are, and if for any reason you don’t like your present condition, don’t beat yourself up, life is transient. Sooner or later things will definitely change for the better.
Always engage in positive self-talk and in personal development. Get to know yourself, become aware of your thoughts and actions because they are the gateway to how we perceive ourselves.
Your self-worth is never and will never be tied to any external circumstance. So, therefore, appreciate who you are. YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND!