How to deal with imposter syndrome.
- Have you ever felt like you were unworthy of a job, or a relationship?
- Do you sometimes sabotage your effort in life because you feel others are better than you?
- Have you ever questioned your abilities or you doubt yourself consistently?
- Do you feel make be luck has to do with your success and not because you deserved it?
- Or maybe you feel you don’t deserve your accomplishments and that people might find out you don’t know anything at all?
If you’ve ever felt any of this way, you should know you’re not alone. In fact, most successful people feel or have felt the same way one time or another.
It is psychologically called imposter syndrome; it is a feeling that beclouds a person’s mind into thinking they’re either unworthy or that their achievements were as a result of luck and nothing more.
There are countless of notable and successful people who have acknowledged feeling the imposter syndrome.
One notable example is Maya Angelou, she was nominated for Pulitzer and Tony Awards, and has won three Grammy awards. She acknowledged that even after writing more than eleven bestselling books and winning different awards, her mind still hunts her saying “I have written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out’.”
The good thing is that most successful who feel or have felt this way know how to control it. They know how to channel their feeling of unworthiness or low self-esteem into something more productive. They mastered how to control their mind.
In this post, I’m going to share with you what imposter syndrome is all about and how to deal with imposter syndrome.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is simply the feeling of not being worthy enough or that you’re living a lie or you’re simply a fraud. And that other people might find out you don’t know anything at all.
It is usually an internal condition that beclouds a person’s mind and makes them feel or believe they’re not as competent as others think.
This feeling is usually common with people working in cooperate settings, civil society, work-related settings, and also in personal lives.
How do People Develop Imposter Syndrome?
There is usually no defined way in which people develop imposter syndrome, but the common denominators are:
People who grew up in a competitive environment that required them to always prove how smart they are, easily develop imposter syndrome. They tend to seek validations, and when they get the validations, they question its validity.
For others who grew up in a poor or disadvantaged background, it can be easy to feel unworthy when associating with people of greater social status.
People who are perfectionists are usually prone to developing imposter syndrome. They question their ability, and performance. They’re usually stuck in their head because they wait for everything to be perfect before they can believe in themselves and their abilities. This behavior also leads to neurosis.
Unhealthy comparison contributes to why a lot of people develop a feeling of imposter syndrome. It is said that comparison is the thief of joy, it makes you feel less worthy, and you end up questioning everything about yourself and your abilities.
It is easy for people who have been discriminated to feel unworthy and not belonging to a group of settings. Discrimination comes in different forms and settings. And it accounts for why a lot of people develop insecurity in life and imposter syndrome.
How to Deal with Imposter Syndrome
The first step towards dealing with imposter syndrome is to become aware of your thought patterns, and you have to also ask yourself some basic questions like:
What core beliefs do you hold of yourself that’s holding you back?
The following are other ways in which you can deal with imposter syndrome, build your self-esteem, and confidence.
1. Discard the Need to be Perfect
Like I already stated, perfectionism is a foundation for imposter syndrome.
It is perfectly natural to strive for perfection especially in this modern time when everything appears perfect on social media. The problem with trying to be perfect is that it puts undue pressure on you and makes you uncomfortable and stressed. The feeling of being uncomfortable with yourself is what usually leads to imposter syndrome.
Discard every thought from your mind about perfection, because it’s unrealistic and impossible. Strive instead for improvement. When you have an improvement mentality, you accept yourself and everything you do because you know you can always improve.
Ask yourself this question; Must you be perfect for others to approve of you?
The answer is NO. You’re unique the way you are period.
2. Stop the Unhealthy Comparison
Understand that no one has it all figured out in life, nobody. Everyone has their insecurities, fears, and anxiety. Most people are only good at pretending, and you only see the part they want you to see.
Stop comparing yourself with people around you, especially people on social media. Understand that social media life is only a photoshopped life, people show you only the edited version of themselves and not the real part.
3. Question your Thoughts
Our mind is very powerful, and it is the foundation of everything good and also evil.
It is always advisable that you control your mind and the things that you feed it. If you feed it negative things like “you’re not worthy”, “you’re dumb”, or “that you’re just lucky and nothing else”. The chances are high that your mind will look for ways to validate your thoughts and produce more feelings of unworthiness for you.
So, control your thoughts and question their rationality.
4. Own your Accomplishments
The best way to deal with imposter syndrome is to own your life, own your achievements and accomplishments. Celebrate them and be grateful for your journey thus far. There are no two persons like you on earth. Enjoy your moments and own every bit of it. Don’t allow negative people to belittle your accomplishments or talk down on it.
You worked hard for it. Celebrate yourself, and when you do that, others will also celebrate you.
5. Seek out Help
It is advisable to always seek out help when struggling with imposter syndrome. A coach, mentor, or counselor can help.
A coach is someone who is competent enough to help you discover yourself and break the limiting beliefs you have about yourself and your abilities.
A mentor is someone who has walked on the same path or has experiences about what it feels like to be in the same situation as you are. They can provide you with helpful tips and techniques to break free from the feeling of imposter syndrome.
To control imposter syndrome begins with awareness and acceptance of one’s self. Avoid seeking external approvals and validations. Celebrate your accomplishments and never talk down or look down on yourself.
Develop an improvement mentality and understand that life is never perfect and can never be perfect.
Have any suggestions or questions, leave a comment below?